People of Tender Heart
We idealize love, but the baseline for humanity is that in great part we only love what is pleasing in the other (and self).
We only allow our hearts to open to what pleases us.
This behavior, which is so prevalent in humanity, is confused to the core — because Love doesn’t limit itself to a mere game of attraction and aversion.
I am aware that this is a great generalization, and don’t mean to make use of it reductively. But I do want to strip away a myth that we carry.
This is a myth that protects us from feeling the great grief of living in a world among a species that has forgotten its core nature is love. The myth says that — by virtue of being a caring person — we are being loving most of the time.
People of tender heart want to be loving. We’re clear on the value of that. But no one really taught us that to keep our hearts open in practice, day by day, we would have to learn how to see beyond the duality of what pleases and displeases us, to grow ourselves beyond the cultural frameworks which teach us to love what pleases us and to reject/suppress/abandon/deny the rest.
No one taught us the value of learning how to be comfortable with discomfort.
I do think those whose hearts are available to love do experience moments in which they transcend this pattern. And some few stay heart-available & open most of the time. But their numbers are overstated; they are rare enough that you can count yourself lucky if you’ve ever been in the affections of such a person.
The reason I’m moved to speak about this is because I think this myth is keeping us from facing what we need to in order to be able to move forward together.
I think the great majority of humanity carries a wound of primary rejection — that imprint of knowing that only what is pleasing about you is loved, is wanted.
Some people call this the mother wound. I think it’s bigger than that. I think it’s the Mother wound, the Father wound, the Nature wound and the Universe/God wound.
No wonder we fear feeling all that has been suppressed through the centuries.
But what if the doorway opens when we allow ourselves to feel what we fear feeling?
What if the grief and heartbreak we are suppressing is the way home? Shame and self-hatred too? Guilt, rage, despair?
What if the stories these feelings tell are too small for us, but the energies they've locked into a holding pattern are the missing nutrient we need to breakthrough the inertia of centuries?
What if feeling our way through is the only thing that will make us available to the LOVE we already are?
What if you could rest in love, in the embrace of a whole tribe that rests there with you, each knowing the value of their wholeness? Each knowing how to honor wholeness in self and other because we were raised that way, and had been for generations?
What if back in our mythical past, ancient past, unrecorded past, this was how it was, and that somewhere deep in our genes we host already well-developed codes for living this way, in loving wholeness, peace and joy?
Perhaps there are codes in the DNA that have never been turned on in your body this whole life long (so far) — what if this is so? And if so, perhaps these codes have been locked down for so many generations that even the idea of their existence seems a possibility too remote to consider, but what if we dared to?
What if we were born to turn them on once again?